Thanks to the marvel of Google Translate, here's the opening from DL: "But ladies and gentlemen. We know how is the iPhone 5. The source gave us the information is 100% reliable and we put our hand to fire it. Even though it allows us to disclose the name of ..."

We love the smell of burning hands in the morning.

DL gets down to brass tacks without ado. "Let's start with the basics: the iPhone 5 will not be the iPhone 5. But an improved version 4 and will be called iPhone 4S."

One admires the symmetry: the iPhone 5 will not be the iPhone 5. In other words, the iPhone 5 will be the iPhone 5 only it will not be.

DL says the Next WhateverPhone will have, as has been previously rumored, an 8 megapixel camera that can shoot HD video, and the A5 dual-core processor; and adds what we think is a new rumor wrinkle: a "second antenna at the top of the device that improves the signal."