Blah, blah, lining up for something they don't need, blah, blah, blah.

Across the street, where Best Buy would be selling exactly the same item at exactly the same price at exactly the same time, there was no cult, no fever, hence no line (and no wasted productivity). That's right: Fanatics would rather waste 24 hours advertising their zeal at an Apple store than simply walk into a Best Buy.

The people in that line should sue Smith for defamation of character.

Not to ruin your exercise in extreme obtuseness, Kyle, but the reason there was no line at the Best Buy is that the Best Buy was probably going to get about 10 iPad 2s while the Apple Store was going to get about 10,000. So every person in that line was better informed than you.

Five hundred years ago, the Apple Scruffs would have been mortifying their flesh as a Jobs-like cleric urged them on.