Now, wait. Wait, wait, wait. The Macalope hears all you Apple fanbois getting ready to complain about how utterly spectacular that is, because the iPhone 4S clobbered sales of the iPhone 4 by an eye-popping 135 percent. And the iPhone 4 was the best selling smartphone! How is this a fail? And must you keep on with that overused expression that's sooo 2005?

Well, you see, Apple acolyte, the answer to this is simple. As notes (tip o' the antlers to ):

Apple's fans are more interested in spending money than they are with facts.

So true. Clearly the iPhone 4S is just another example of of a handful of 4 million Apple iZombies shuffling to the Apple store and mindlessly buying iPhones. Seen it a million times. Well, five.

Even if you think 4 million is still a lot no matter who they are, you're clearly blinded by the gospel as told by Phil Schiller. See, it doesn't matter how many units the iPhone 4S sold compared to the iPhone 4. What matters... what , Apple monkey, is how many units it would have sold if it had been the iPhone 5.