According to this one rumor, time has lost its linear nature! All things are happening at once! Apple cannot control this quantum conundrum!

(You know, sometimes the Macalope really loves his job.)

6. Consumers Are Looking for Bigger Displays

This may be the Macalope's favorite. But it's admittedly hard to pick.

Don says consumers want bigger displays not once, but three times. Three times in a 91-word list item. Yet, he provides no links to back up that assertion. It's just obvious, right?! Duh! Consumers want to lug around larger screens! They'd love to lug around gigantic 42-inch screens, but Apple doesn't offer the breadth of options that other OEMs do! Dur-hey! So obvious! Dur-hickey!