iPad competitors don’t seem to be doing so well so it’s time to make some up! Then the Macalope consoles the Winotaur over the death of the Zune. Well, “consoles” is probably the wrong word. “Mocks” is probably closer. And Jon Bon Jovi fondly remembers all the ways the music business used to be able to take your money before Steve Jobs ruined everything.

We’ve had failware and vaporware competitors to the iPad, but now we’ve got imagineware. , noting that the iPad competitors have been lackluster to date, asked analysts to opine on whether or not Amazon could waltz in where others have stumbled over their oversized clown shoes.

Amazon.com, by contrast, could create an Android- or Linux-based tablet to connect users to Amazon’s storefront, including its forthcoming Android App Store, said Epps.

It’s true that Amazon is a terrific retailer, but its online retail experience is not completely comparable to the App Store, at least not yet. The reason the App Store works is because the things that are sold on it complement the device you’re making the purchase from. Nobody’s going to be jazzed by a device that lets you buy a faster.