John Dvorak is a size queen. Surprise.

Who knows what exactly is waiting in the wings when Apple eventually brings out the iPhone 5?

One thing's for certain: No matter what it looks like you'll tell us it stinks and is too late to save the company from ill humors or whatever it is you think is troubling Apple, as if any of these supposed troubles appear in its quarterly results.

To do this right, Apple needs a new phone every quarter.

Oh, is that all? And here the Macalope thought you were going to ask for something unreasonable.