computerwoche.de

Archiv

Privacy Lost: The Amazing Benefits of the Completely Examined Life

01.05.2011
Your iPhone's tracking you. Your game network just surrendered all your personal data. And your mom is posting your potty-training videos on Facebook. Like many of us, you're laboring under the delusion that privacy matters--that there's such a thing as too much (public) information. It's time to get over it! Soon we'll all recognize the positives of exposing every aspect of our lives. What a relief it will be when we've finally revealed everything and have nothing left to hide. Herewith, the potential benefits of our upcoming, privacy-free utopia:

• Better security, plus entertainment, 24/7: Tune into the airport security "Grope-cam" channel.

• Lose weight through public shaming. Live feed of your personal calorie-intake monitor. And all of your followers can heckle and haze you between bites.

• Never wonder about the location of your wayward spouse again: All citizens' locations are now tracked on GoogleMaps, via surgically imbedded cell phone/GPS.

• Reality TV show: Confessional Confidential. With America's priest, Ryan Seacrest!

• Enhanced GPS capabilities and labeling will identify you as being "in the vicinity" even when you aren't actually in a posted photograph. Great for connecting you to drunken parties where you somehow avoided getting captured on film.