"I ask how I get such an address," fish says. "She tells me I need Internet before I can get an IP address. Apparently, once I've got Internet, I just go to Whatismyip.com and it will give me one.

"Wonderful. She looks at me like I'm a bit stupid, so I open up a Web browser and let her use it. She types in www.whatismyip.com, and looks confused when it gives an error message about being unable to connect.

"Oh well. Looks like I can't get an IP address, as I don't have Internet."

Submit your own true tales of IT life to sharky@computerworld.com. If Sharky uses it, you'll snag a snazzy Shark Tank shirt!