Managing the user

Panicked receptionist calls IT manager pilot fish, saying her monitor is doing weird things, though she's not touching the computer. "I get to her station and pull out her under-desk keyboard drawer," says fish, "and there's her romance novel, open face-down, mashing the keyboard. She turns an enchanting tomato red and mumbles, 'Uh, sorry, I had to hide the book when the boss came by. Please don't tell on me!' Me? Never! But she owes me now."

But learning fast

It's 1992, and this bank's newly hired mortgage broker gets his new PC. But broker confesses soberly to a pilot fish that he knows nothing about PCs. "He picked up the mouse and put it up to the screen and moved it around, but nothing happened," reports stunned fish. "Before I could say anything, he said, 'Don't laugh too much -- I already called my wife, who laughed at me and explained what to do with it.'"

You know what to do with your true tale of IT life: Send it to me at .com. You'll get a stylish Shark shirt if I use it. And check out Sharky's blog, browse the Sharkives and sign up for Shark Tank home delivery at .