By understanding the boss's weakness, you can learn how best to conduct yourself, which in the end is all you can control.

Seven years after John Wade's "bad boss" encounter, he finally gained insight into his first boss while taking a management theory course. According to a managerial grid theory that plots "concern for people" and "concern for task" along vertical and horizontal axes, Wade's first manager fell in the

"1-1" category, meaning he had a "low task, low relationship" style, says Wade, who is now CIO at Saint Luke's Health System.

By categorizing a manager's style rather than labeling him as a bad person, you can defuse some of the emotions that get in the way of navigating a tough situation. "It allowed me to kind of let go of some of the ill will I felt toward this guy earlier," Wade says.

That approach might even enable you to see and then emphasize any positive traits the boss may have, says Scott Berkun, an independent consultant.