Below are some of our favorites, exactly as they were received, with only identifying information removed. The, um, creative spelling, has been left intact, giving you a good idea of the kinds of queries real IT help desk staffers get.

Baseball prospect

my name is carlos im 19 yrs old ive been playing baseball all my life. i know i am pro meterial all i need is a chance i play for the braddock braves in pittsburgh pa please send a scout to see me

Soap operas

my question is to help me out getting to the cbs soap operas as the guiding light as the world turns ok since its computer thing looks like that i could go at start of these two soap operas and watch them when they first started on cbs tv i mean watch them over from the very start.