...but go play with the iPhone 5 yourself. It feels terrible. It's very light and to me feels like a toy. It needs a lead weight.

Too light. Heavy phones are where it's at, bro. Have you checked out the Samsung Neutron III SX? It's got a big lump of osmium in it. It doesn't do anything, it just adds weight. The phone weighs 47 pounds. Android phones are totally winning the density war.

(You can say that again.)

Well, Doug, we will have to agree to disagree, because to the Macalope's hoof, the iPhone 5 feels like the best iPhone ever built. And the worst iPhone ever built still feels better than the best phone ever built by anyone else.

OK, you knew it was coming, but are you ready for it?