On the one hand, Whitman announced a plan! And meanwhile what has Tim Cook done?! Pull off another highly successful product launch that’s further cemented Apple’s position as the market leader in tablets, and generated billions more in revenue? Ha-ha-haaa! As if that’s as good as a !

And now for the most awkward segue you’ll read this week. Possibly ever:

The problems range from poor WiFi reception and WAN data plans that run through their monthly allocation in hours, to the very high temperature that the iPad operates at, which Consumer Reports says could cause burns if held for a long period—like, say, if a child were playing games. Let’s just say when I get an ad about a product that will make me longer and harder I’m not expecting to get an iron, yet this Apple appears to be designed to take the creases out of my private part.

The Macalope is considering a class action suit against Enderle for the whiplash he incurred switching images from a child playing a game to . Much is made of Rob’s seemingly poor analytical ability when it comes to Apple (personally, the Macalope thinks he’s deliberately just ginning up hits and further prostrating himself to his masters), but he’s also a really horrible writer. Let’s not forget that.

As the Macalope notes, it’s hardly worth responding to this, as he doesn’t think Rob even believes it. He’s just swatting the hornet’s nest. But suffice it to say that when it’s been debunked by , you know it’s a crock.