Well, whatever. Like an in-law who's overstayed his welcome, we're just eager to help Joe pack and be on his way.

I had planned to buy a Linksys router, but Cisco shenanigans compelling users to sign up for Cloud Connect accounts put me off.

Oh, you mean it's complicated finding unicorn companies that never do anything wrong? Who'd have thought it?

Strangely, Apple abdication sends me to Google.

And Google, as we all know, is utterly chaste and pure and would never do anything that could be considered anything less than above-board.