Almost all of Pendola’s house of frayed cards is built on the assumption that Apple will be releasing an iPad mini, which most Apple experts seem to think won’t happen any time soon, if ever. But, apparently, lack of any ground to stand on isn’t a hinderance to writing for TheStreet.

No, it’s not news that an assortment of wackadoodles, dingbats, chowderheads, and goofballs continue to try to make something—anything—negative out of Apple’s quarterly results. Still, it continues to be funny.

Yes, in the forest of awesomeness that Apple announced on Tuesday, some are saying “Hey, check out the bark on this one tree. That look infected to you?”

It’s not surprising that our pals at Business Insider were immediately on top of the big takeaway from Apple’s conference call: