I asked if something like windshield resin might do the trick and he said that given that the crack wasn't over the display itself but rather in a corner it was worth a try if I didn't mind a less-than-perfect looking screen. Regrettably I did, so it was on to the next step.

With home-made remedies out of the question it was time to see the wizard--or, at least, the --at the localish Apple Store. In the early days of The Store you could waltz in, pull up a stool, and a Genius would get to you in short order. Now that Apple products are so popular and so many people have them, walking in isn't your best option. Instead, you make an appointment via Apple's . In the U.S,. you choose the state in which you live and then select a store within that state. In the next screen, select the product you'd like to speak with the Genius about--iPad, in my case--and click Next. A page appears where you can choose a day and time for your visit. This I did; I then proceeded to prepare my iPad for its time in the Apple Genius's care.

Much as I'm certain that each and every person who works at Apple is a trustworthy soul, I'm just paranoid enough to be concerned that the truck bearing my old data-packed iPad might be highjacked by aliens who would use my personal information to tweet inappropriate images of South American livestock under my name. To avoid that, I resolved to wipe my iPad of information.