Twilio, a web-service API for developers, has released a working API for sending hand-delivered telegrams.

As Twilio software engineer Chris Corcoran , "You can’t frame a text message."

To dispatch one of Twilio's "horses" with a telegram, you need to make an HTTP POST request and include parameters such as Horse Type, FeedBeforeDeploy, Singing, ArmMessenger and FillFlask.

"The FillFlask attribute takes the values whiskey, xxx, and false. If you fill your messenger's flask, you may increase the chance of a 504 error, but you will reduce the chance of a delayed message due to unexpected saloon stops. The default is whiskey," is one note on Twilio's .

Now, that's a sobering gag if we've ever seen one.