At Appomattox, Union Gen. Ulysses S. Grant assigns the task of ceremonial surrender to an amateur, a one-star general-Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain. He effects what becomes known as a respectful salute. Each side salutes the other, though four days earlier they were trying to kill each other. It was an act of reconciliation.

Whatever their personal feelings or however much animosity there is towards another party, ? The principle: It's about the mission, not about you. Honor the room.

In Chile on Aug. 5, 2010, Laurence Golborne, the minister of mines, received a one-line message on his smartphone about a cave in the desert falling in. He's a regulator; he doesn't run any mines. He goes there and concludes that the owner doesn't have the resources to get these guys, 2,000 feet down, out of rock twice the density of granite.

It looked impossible. Golborne decided, at considerable risk-if things went wrong, the national government would be blamed-to lead the task of getting the miners back to surface.

The principle there is that it's of critical importance to take stock of where you are and who you are. You must . Convey your character.