When , he was telling us how the Android tablet wave was coming any day nowjust you wait!and how Googles acquisition of Motorola spelled iPhone doom! (His words!)
Well, hes back, this time declaring the (). The Register: All the hyperbole, without all the fattening logic!
Asay exhorts Microsoft to seize the day (two-plus years after Apple introduced a tablet that people actually wanted to use) and take back the enterprise night! Or something.
Apple has given us much with its pleasing-on-the-eye iPad. But what it hasnt given us is a serious replacement for the lowly laptop or desktop. As much as magazines like MacWorld [sic] may hype it as The New Business Machine, the reality is that the iPad is only enterprise-ready in iFantasyLand.
Which is apparently where .
Asays major complaint boils down to the fact that Pages and Numbers on iOS arent as full-featured as Microsoft Word and Excel. Well, not everybody needs or wants a full office suite, given that a certain amount of time has passed . It doesnt seem to occur to Asay that there might be room for both iPads and the Surface in the enterprise. FLIP BINARY SWITCH FROM IPAD TO SURFACE. IPAD LOSE, SURFACE WIN.
While theres plenty of good reasons to suspect that Googles Android will prove Apples most serious mobile competition due to its enterprise apps and strength in emerging markets&
Wait, what? So, lets get this straight. The iPad = no good for business because it doesnt have Word and Excel. , on the other hand, = for business because blah blaggidity bloog blerg meep morp.
Correct the Macalope if hes wrong (dont get up, hes not), but there are no versions of Word and Excel for Android, either.
This is the Macalopes seen this sleight of hand. Apple devices are no good for the enterprise because they dont have X, but Android (which also doesnt have X) is good for the enterprise because& well, because its not from Apple, thats why.
Circus acrobats couldt bend over backwards this far for Apples competitors.
Yes, enterprises may end up writing all of this software themselves, and its also possible that enterprise grade is a misnomer, and Apple is redefining the enterprise experience by taking away all the cruft from over-engineered applications.
Finally, Matts making some sense. And he only had to get seven-eighths of the way through the piece to do it.
There will long be a core set of enterprise users who need Excel. Its still hands-down the best tool for number crunching and a host of ERP systems provide plugins to feed data directly into it. But to assume that a lack of Excel and Word is crippling the iPad is to ignore whats been going on in the enterprise market for the last two years and to misunderstand why the iPads been a success.
Which, admittedly, kind of fits a pattern for Asay.
It takes a village to build a dumb iPhone rumor. A village made entirely of village idiots.
Take it away, ironically-named :
Apple will announce the iPhone 5 on August 7, Know Your Mobile can exclusively reveal.
Exclusive, maybe. Correct? No.
How can the Macalope say this with certainty? Well, lets just check with Jim Dalrymple. Jim, will the iPhone 5 ?
Nope.
Done and done. Still, it appears some didnt get the message that this rumor had been squashed like a bug under Jims hard-rockin boot.
say! Well, true! Some, like, for example, Crazy Donald who hangs out at the Circle K outside of Topeka. He says of crazy things.
Thats not actually how he got his nickname, though. He actually got it for his dance moves back in the early 90s club scene. Before the head injury. Sad story.
So, why are people with head injuries saying Apple would do this?
Analysts are now blaming the earlier release date predictions mostly on the major success of the Samsung Galaxy S3.
Uh-huh. Because Samsung (not customers) in the two months its been on sale as opposed to Apple only having shipped 35 million iPhones last quarter.
The release of the iPhone 4S was a disappointment to many &
& nitwits.
& and the disappearance of Steve Jobs may have been a turning point for American society.
The notion that America has turned into a Mad Max-style post apocalyptic nightmare since Steve Jobs died is absurd. Preposterous.
Its been that way for .
Innovation is no longer in Apples camp.
Because the phone that was designed and built while Steve Jobs was alive and CEO was not tear-drop shaped like a collection of the dullest knives taken from drawers across the globe wanted it to be.
Say, where did The Examiner get their information? Why, from , of course. They dont have a link to hot celebrity videos like The Examiner does, but the Macalope is sure theyre rock-solid, nonetheless.
According to reports, Samsungs Galaxy S3 is set to reach an impressive 15 million sales mark this quarter, 5 million bigger than the anticipated July sales prediction, and 10 million bigger than last years Galaxy S2 sales during the same period.
And, yet, still 20 million fewer iPhones than Apple soldto actual people!last quarter. But somehow were supposed to believe that Apple is going to rush iOS 6 and the iPhone 5 out the door in the next three weeks because of this terror.
Now, rumors posted online say &
Wow! Rumors posted online! With attribution like that, you know its going to be good!
& Apple wants its own piece of the pie and will launch the iPhone 5 two months ahead of the anticipated October release date.
As opposed to the , Apple would henceforth just like a of the pie.
Look, pie is fattening, people. Theres no denying that. You cant blame Apple for wanting to slim down. Particularly with its high school reunion coming up.
Nokia held its quarterly bloodletting, er, conference call this week, and it wasnt pretty; the companys financial results confirmed that sales of the Lumia 900 were less than spectacular.
In its bleak earnings report today, Nokia revealed it shipped just 600,000 handsets in North America during its latest Q2 2012, down from 1.5 million in the same period last year. The 60 percent drop year-on-year, coupled with an identical ship rate in Q1 2012, shows that the companys risky bet on Windows Phone is still a slow starter.
A slow starter?! Wait, wait, wait. What about this?
Initial sales indicators for the Lumia 900, Nokias most important U.S. Windows Phone to date, are showing that the handset is off to a good start despite the fact that the phone launched on Easter Sunday, a day when most AT&T stores were closed.
That was Wireds Christina Bonnington on the Monday after the Lumia 900s U.S. launch. You might wonder how the heck she could know already that sales were promising.
The Lumia 900 rose to the top of Amazons smartphone rankings today, beating out favorites like the Droid Razr Maxx, the previously most popular phone, and the Samsung Galaxy Nexus.
Lookit me! Im on top o world, ma!
And, yet, somehow when sales were reported&
Nokias 600,000 figure encapsulates phones in general, rather than the specific smartphone segment, but it does show that analyst estimations of 330,000 Lumia sales in the US over a period of around four months may be accurate.
So.
What? Have? We? Learned?
Well, weve learned that you cant judge the sales of a product based on its relative ranking against a subset of similar products (iPhones, for example, are not available on Amazones smartphone store) on the day of its launch.
Well, the Macalope didnt learn that since he already that. But hopefully Christina did.
Not every trinket of information speaks volumes, pundits. Some of them are just shiny baubles that are best left alone.
Macworld