(Did you know that Costco sells horrible puns by the pallet?)

A thicker phone?! Who wants that?! IS APPLE DOOMED? AGAIN?

Cue the unlikely entry of as Apple’s white knight!

Whoa, whoa, hang on there a second, Apple-blog-that-reduced-its-name-to-an-unpronounceable-partial-acronym and venerated-dentist’s-waiting-room-magazine-from-the-1980s. See, all either of you can really say is that the white iPhones are thicker or not thicker than the black iPhones you measured. Did you measure of the white iPhones and of the black iPhones? No, you did not. (Steve Jobs gave that job to the guy who left his iPhone 4 at the bar.)