The Macalope Weekly: Remember Microsoft?


Hey, you guys! Remember that company from the ’90s that made Office for the Mac? Well, apparently it’s still around and is now into desperate and possibly self-destructive attempts to get attention! It’s true! Not just that, but it’s so far out of the cell phone business that it can’t even get invited to lousy parties thrown by the U.S. Senate. But don’t worry, several analysts who’ve been in a sensory deprivation tank for 10 years say the company’s set to make a big comeback in the tablet market.

for an eye-popping 8.5 billion quatloos, which the Macalope knows is not a form of money, but, let’s face it: Microsoft’s not treating it like it’s real either. Every time things get wacky in Redmond, the Macalope calls his old friend the Winotaur.

MACALOPE: Congrats on the big snare.

WINOTAUR: Oh, that little thing? Pff. No big deal. You know what happens to those who wander into the Winotaur’s maze, my friend.