The Macalope Daily: Dear Apple, I have too much time on my hands

05.10.2012
Prep your fainting couches because Apple has once again outrageously--outrageously!-- violated the sacred trust between giant computer company and its shrillest and most sensitive customers!

VentureBeat's John Koetsier keys (tip o' the antlers to ).

"But, Macalope," you say. "A VentureBeat writer who comes off like an over-privileged, powdered-wig-wearing 18th-century monarch? Surely that cannot be right." Oh, but it is.

Yesterday, I pulled up the YouTube app on my recently updated iOS 6-sporting iPhone 4S. Or, I tried to.

Oh, no! Has someone stolen Koetsier's phone? Are his hands enfeebled by the condition known as "hot dog fingers"? Are aliens stealing our apps?

No.