New company policy expressly forbids all non-business-related Web use, and it's enforced with new firewall and filter settings. Just after it kicks in, second-shift plant supervisor tracks down IT pilot fish to ask why he can't access his ISP's Web site. Fish: Why do you need to access that site? Supervisor: "I need it for my job." Fish: Right. Did you read the revised policy that says you can't surf the Web for anything other than business-related stuff? Supervisor: "Yeah, but it's nice to keep up with current events, since I'm stuck here all night."

Safety first

Contingent of big-deal prospective clients is getting the grand tour at this consulting firm, and the sales manager decides to add the server room to the itinerary, reports a pilot fish watching from the sidelines. With five visitors from the would-be client and five big shots from the firm crowded into the room, sales guy explains, "This is our state-of-the-art server room. You will have noticed the biometric access control panel while coming in. Our clients can be sure of their data being completely safe with us -- no one except members of our IT infrastructure team who have high-level security clearance can enter this room." Which is when one of the visitors chimes in: "If that's the case, how come we're in here now?"

That's not quite the way it works

Software developer calls database admin pilot fish with a problem: "When I try to run the 'All items -- past 12 weeks' query, I get an internal server error. Hmm, says fish, can you duplicate the error on a test server? Developer: "I can't get into either one of the test servers. And even if I could get into them, this query is so new that it won't exist in either of these test environments."