Remains of the Day: Know when to hold 'em

In fall, will a young man's fancy turn to thoughts of a new iPhone? Elsewhere, an Apple Store faces a terrible tragedy, and a rare collectible surfaces briefly before disappearing beneath the waves of the Internet. The remainders for Wednesday, April 20, 2011 clearly long for adventures on the high seas.


That's right, there are telling Reuters that the iPhone 5 will not debut until September. The phone will supposedly look like an iPhone 4, but feature a faster processor. You know what? Put me down for the underdog bet: I wager they'll go straight to the iPhone 6. Nobody's gonna see that coming.

(U.S. Patent and Trademark Office)

The name may be vague, but the patent isn't: It's the iPhone 4, lock, stock, and gleaming glass-and-silver barrel. Credited with the design are such Apple bigwigs as Steve Jobs and Jonathan Ive, as well as many others. Sadly absent from the list was former Apple mascot Johnny Appleseed, who angered Jobs and, as punishment, was sent to the spice mines of Kessel, never to be heard from again.