On finding that special someone online, OW says, "She cried, you cried, and then you made love. Sweet, sweet fake love. It was your first time but she didn't care. Though you've never met in real life and she is probably a 35 five your old man who lives in his parent's basement, just like you, you love her and would never do anything to betray that."

Social skills? Equally scathing rhetoric from the cranky wizards. "Where most children spend the day running around outside, building forts, playing capture the flag, exploring the woods and swamp behind your house, and doing other activities with the neighborhood kids, the hardcore gamer mastered whatever system was popular at the time."

It gets worse from there, but don't worry too much, ok? Just remember, when we're all dead and gone, you'll still have the cockroaches to flame on the forums.