I'm talking about the election, of course. (And if you just said to yourself, "What election?", please hold still while I smack you with this sock full of manure.)

Today's hot topic is voting machines. It seems the doyenne of daytime TV, Oprah Winfrey, voted early in Chicago last week and ran smack into a touch-screen voting machine that didn't want to cooperate. She pressed the screen next to You Know Who's name, but nothing happened. One can only imagine the theatrics that ensued in the polling station, but you can watch .

My point: If it can happen to L'Oprah, it can happen to you. Heck, it even .

Votes have been in Colorado, West Virginia, Texas, and Tennessee, among other places. When voters press the touch screen, it either doesn't record their choice (a la Oprah) or it records it for the wrong candidate. And in most cases there's no paper trail, which means there's no way to verify the machine accurately recorded your vote, even if it displayed correctly on screen.

It's not just tree-hugging, tin-foil-hat-wearing Probama voters who've had this problem. In Tennessee, three voters complained . Several states have responded by decertifying machines and going back to paper ballots, but more than a third of the country will vote tomorrow using one of these gizmos. E-voting experts are , including Florida, Ohio, Pennsylvania, and Virginia.