On this city government's old mainframe, printing out monthly financial statements requires running multiple programs and swapping out more than a dozen reels of tape. "Of course, the end users are totally oblivious to the behind-the-scenes mechanics," says a pilot fish there. "One day, the IT boss is filling in for the computer operator, who's on vacation. The city comptroller walks into the computer room and says, 'OK, Fred, push the button and let 'er run.'"
Too much
This database administrator -- "he describes himself as 'not just a DBA,'" reports a pilot fish in the know -- wants to remove an error code on an Oracle system because he's sure the system is wrong and he's right. "He described the problem to his assistant DBA, who didn't argue with him," says fish. "Then he asked his supervisor for permission to remove the error code. He told his boss that the system was erroring when a number was divided by zero -- 'and everyone knows that five divided by zero is one.'"
Too subtle
IT guy sends an e-mail to the whole company. Subject: Phishing examples. "He described two classic examples of convincing phishing attacks," says a pilot fish who got the message. "He attached the two original e-mails, and also included the directive, 'Notice where the links take you.' Less than an hour later came the follow-up e-mail: 'DON'T CLICK THE LINKS.' I guess his original description of the evil e-mails was a little too subtle for some users."
Too hasty
User calls help desk pilot fish about a problem with his BlackBerry device. "I told him I need the make, model and serial number," says fish. User: I don't know where I can find that. Fish: Just pull out the battery and it should be right underneath there. The line goes dead, and fish realizes what's wrong. "He was talking on the BlackBerry," groans fish. "He called back and said, 'I think I disconnected myself with that BlackBerry issue.' I guess this is why we all have jobs."
Too thorough
Support pilot fish gets a trouble ticket for a hard-drive failure, so he calls the user. Fish: "Why do you think your hard drive is bad?" User: Because I can see the scratches on the platters. Says fish, "After a quick trip to the user's office, I quickly confirmed his drive was dead -- now. He sat proudly at his desk holding the stack of platters from the hard drive he'd disassembled."
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