But when you're in a panic - as in "Ho, ho, holy $#@!: Christmas is Thursday and/or Hanukkah starts Sunday!" -- you need additional advice. You need help from a professional procrastinator. And that's where I come in.

I'm going to tell you how -- and where -- to do all your holiday gift shopping in less than an hour, buying all your loved ones the best gifts you've ever given and at low prices.

OK, we've got no time to waste, so let's get started:

1. Make your list

(And check it twice -- you don't want to forget anybody.) Write the names of all the people you intend to buy gifts for in two categories: Those you will give gifts to in person (which you will have shipped to your own address), and those you will mail gifts to (make sure you have their current mailing addresses).