Naughty and nice

19.12.2005
Santa frowned thoughtfully at his desk piled high with letters. "King Kong," he said at last. "Suddenly, King Kong is big. Well, he was always big, but now everyone wants a giant gorilla, and we've got nada. Lloyd!" he called out. "Is there anything we can do about this last-minute Kong problem?"

"Already on it, chief," said the head elf as he walked by, clipboard in hand. "We've got five days before liftoff, and the design team is figuring out something right now. Besides, you don't have time to worry about that -- you still haven't decided what to give all your 8,000-pound gorillas in the IT biz."

"You mean Bill Gates, right?" said Santa. "He's not only the world's richest nerd, he was also knighted this year."

"And now all he can talk about is Web Sir -- uh, services," said the elf. "Let's give him and Steve Ballmer Xbox 360s, and they can experience that legendary Microsoft quality firsthand."

"Still failing your QC checks, eh?" said Santa. "Maybe we should give Steve Jobs an iPod Nano too, and see how long the screen remains unscratched."

"No wonder none of these guys can get their technologies into Nicholas Negroponte's $100 hand-cranked laptop," the elf said. "It's supposed to be durable. Anyhow, what about Larry Ellison, the man who owns everything?"